Can a decorative soap dispenser be a stand-in for someone you’ve lost? Really, anything can happen when grieving and healing.
Still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you…*
My friend Carol, who tells me she can strongly feel Mewsette’s and Jelly Bean’s presences here, gave me this little hand soap container after visiting. She loved the green sink and she wanted to get something that would go with it, indicating the little green top.
I wasn’t sure what to do with it but it did belong in the bathroom. I smelled the soap, because they are all scented, and it was (ick) pumpkin spice scent. I’m not a follower of it. I knew I’d never use the soap, though I am quite fond of the container. Still, I offered it to a few others who might use it and forgot to get it to Mary when she helped me at the farmers market. I had it other places in the room, but I decided that this spot on the bathroom sink was the right place for it.
A couple of weeks go by, and the little pumpkin makes me smile every time I walk in the bathroom. I have other things to worry about than the fact I won’t use the soap, so I don’t worry about it.
I was texting with Carol one afternoon last week and walked into the bathroom, and there I discovered the true calling for the little soap dispenser and why I was moved to set it in that particular spot on the sink.
Do you see the similarity? The new window doesn’t have muntin bars to cast the grid shadow into the sink and on the wall, but it’s still quite similar in composition, if you put Jelly Bean in place of the soap container. Because that’s who is on the sink, in one of my all-time favorite photos, the one that inspired a set of cards and two calendars and gave a title to all the photos of the black cats in the green and white bathroom.
At that exact moment when I walked in while texting with Carol, the sun was in the same place casting the same angled shadows and the container was in Bean’s spot and my heart filled with warmth and a smile. “This little pumpkin container of hand soap you got me, I’m not so fond of pumpkin spice but I just love to look at this on the sink. But this is such a coincidence that I just came in here in the bathroom and where I put it, it’s exactly where I have a photo of Jelly Bean that I adore from years ago, and I am feeling him very, very strong right now.” I shared the photo above with her, of Jelly Bean on the sink.
No wonder it makes me smile. Jelly Bean always put a smile on my face. Just like Fawn with the balloon, our beloved animal companions will return to us in a form that we can recognize and may even describe their physical nature. Bean was always a kind of a round little guy too. And to walk into the room at the moment I was texting with her and see this little pumpkin in the angled sun that he loved so much, and she felt their presences each time she came here, well, it’s a silly little thing, but it’s very meaningful to me.
Mewsette found her home out in the back yard way back in June. Jelly Bean, I wasn’t sure where he was but I thought deeply about him each time I entered the bathroom, especially on sunny afternoons, and now that’s confirmed.
Still the magic
Giuseppe has been visiting the green sink regularly for a sip, and last week I took a photo of him in which he looked so remarkably like Jelly Bean that I doubted I was looking at Giuseppe for a moment. Mr. Sunshine has continued to roll in front of the basement door, in fact today we went out the deck door for a quick visit between the rains and he went down the steps and around on the flagstone path to the basement door and had a little roll on the damp concrete, just as Mewsette did many times over the years. And lots of other little bits of magic that I’ll share, so much that it’s another thing that’s taken extra time this past week.
The Cat Writers’ Association virtual conference was this weekend and I did a presentation about my artwork, so I took the time to prepare for the presentation and the weekend, and take in the information from the other presenters. I may do one or two other holiday events, but aside from that I have no more events and have a full week of blog posts to share. Last week I had some high traffic issues with bots overloading this site and my server; when that happens I have to set my site for “under attack” on Cloudflare so they can catch and stop the bots, though it can take a day for the traffic to decrease to a more normal level. I took some time to do work on my site in the background. I had posts ready for last week but that prevented me from posting early in the week, then again late in the week. I hope all is setup now so that I can once again share my stories and art with you without interference.
See you tomorrow.
The lyrics are from an old standard, a love song published and first recorded in 1935, “These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You),” later recorded by a long list of vocalists and instrumentalists, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/These_Foolish_Things_(Remind_Me_of_You). My father, in addition to being a baker in small family bakeries, was a musician playing the piano primarily. He started playing with big bands in the 1930s, before he enlisted in WWII, then resumed that after the war as well as becoming a music arranger for hire, the person who would take popular songs and score them differently from their original scoring, in this case to be played by all the musicians in a classic Big Band of six to sometimes 20 musicians. When I was very young I learned all the songs and melodies and lyrics as he worked on arrangements and practiced at home. The songs from that era are as familiar to me as the popular songs of my era.
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Because Jelly Bean is the subject of three cards and in the fourth with his siblings. Click here to read more.
All images and text used on this site are copyrighted to Bernadette E. Kazmarski unless otherwise noted and may not be used without my written permission, although links to your site are more than welcome and are shared. Please ask if you are interested in using and image or story in a print or internet publication. If you are interested in purchasing a print of an image or a product including it, check my animal and nature website Portraits of Animals to see if I have it available already. If you don’t find it there, visit Ordering Custom Artwork for more information on a custom greeting card, print or other item.
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Weekly schedule of features:
Tuesday: Rescue Stories
Thursday: New Merchandise
And sometimes, I just throw my hands in the air and have fun!