Mimi Is Resilient
From the time I began writing about my experiences in pet loss, relating what I was feeling and thinking about it as I moved through grief, readers have thanked me, often in private, for my honesty, grateful to know another shared their feelings as they moved through grief, or helped them make a decision.Â
This time I made a video to share and then recorded the essay I wrote to include in the video, so you can watch the video and listen or read along or both.
Mimi spent a while on Saturday looking for Mr. Sunshine. She started indoors but quickly decided he was probably outside, going from one door to another. On the deck she walked around and around things, down the steps to the yard, back up. We came in the back door and she immediately went to the front door and paced back and forth on the front porch, then along the walk to the sidewalk by the street where they’d just been two days before. She stopped then, mewed softly a few times, that little mom cat mew, then questioning. It was heartbreaking to see and hear.
When we came back inside at her own timing she seemed to understand, had a little snack then came to me and got right up on my lap, which she hasn’t done very often in the past year.
I haven’t seen her searching again, even while we enjoyed the sun and warm temperatures on Sunday morning and afternoon, when I took these videos of her. She explored the garden, I got a little project done, I think we were both pleased with how we felt.
Again Sunday evening she curled up on my lap and purred, and stayed for hours. It’s dusk here now, Monday, and she just came to me again, purring.
I’ve been concerned about the effect of Mr. Sunshine’s passing on Mimi, far more than on me. The two of them were inseparable after Giuseppe died, spending hours on the cushion under the table where it’s cozy with a furnace vent, and the food and fountain are steps away, sleeping pressed together.
Then they seemed to be okay for a while and only spent a part of each day snuggling, as had always been everyone’s habit, some time in a heap, some time alone.
I could see in January that Mr. Sunshine was beginning to decline, less active generally, and less exploring out in the back yard. By February he was sleeping on a bed on the seat of a chair under the kitchen table, and he seemed to want to be isolated. I sensed he felt some discomfort and snuggling may have been too uncomfortable, and possibly his own energy was waning, but Mimi simply settled on the chair next to his and he welcomed her there, watching for her sometimes. She stayed near him in that way from then on. He was the comfort to each of his siblings, and I’m glad he had someone of his own species, his mom, to be near him at that time. I’m sure they both knew what was coming.
On Friday, I got him home in time for her to see him, and she was with him for a bit after he died, then later she visited him again. Even Saturday morning she seemed calm. His spirit stayed with his body on Friday and on Saturday morning, but was slowly fading. When I felt he was ready to leave for cremation I made sure she got to sniff him one last time and saw what I was doing. All of the beds he slept on are still here. Then a few hours later, the search.
I’m glad she decided to come to me to snuggle. She’s lived with those four, able to choose her napping partner at will because she’s the mom, for the past 16 years. She is 20, and while she’s still alert and curious and connected, grief can be traumatic. They all grieved as each of the others passed and were remembered. But to be left alone from the best friends of your lifetime might be a reason to give up. At the moment, I don’t see that.
Thank you for following our grief journey after losing three members of our feline family.
I hope sharing our experiences have helped you in some way, as sharing my experiences with you helps me.
You can read all the articles related to their loss by tapping one of these images in the side bar and in articles.
Read more articles about Pet Loss in the First Person, my personal losses, about Pet Loss and other Essays on The Creative Cat.
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It’s Mimi napping in the shadow on the cool bricks among the geraniums, near the vintage aluminum tub where I grow pole beans. Read more and order.
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Weekly schedule of features:
Sunday: Essays, Pet Loss, Poetry, The Artist’s Life
Monday: Adoptable Cats, TNR & Shelters
Tuesday: Rescue Stories
Wednesday: Commissioned Portrait or Featured Artwork
Thursday: New Merchandise
Friday: Book Review, Health and Welfare, Advocacy
Saturday: Your Backyard Wildlife Habitat, Living Green With Pets, Creating With Cats
And sometimes, I just throw my hands in the air and have fun!
Many (((hugs))) and love to you all
Poor Mimi. You and her will have to get each other through this. XO
Poor sweet Mimi, the grieving is tough on our furries too. Hugs.
Purring for you all.