Something about the light today brings back a memory…something about the time before I came here.
How long have I been here? It seems like forever, but I know it hasn’t been because I lived out there, out in the street I’m looking at, out there in all kinds of weather with noisy cars and kids after me, and I had all those babies…
That’s it, this time five years ago I was pregnant again. Which litter? I don’t remember…
These four big black cats, my children, didn’t exist yet, but I was near to giving birth, it was hot and they were getting big and heavy, my belly was nearly dragging on the ground. It was the only thing I didn’t like about childbirth then, those last few weeks when I was a real whale of a cat, otherwise it was as easy as eating dinner…I can hardly remember what it felt like to be pregnant now.
I came over here, I was always in this yard, hunting, there was so much here, and it was so quiet and peaceful, no big dogs barking, though the dogs were always nice to me…no people arguing or loud TVs or music. I just liked to sit in the garden, but the lady usually chased me away, something about not wanting me to hunt here.
…all the cats in the windows always looked so happy. I would talk to them now and then, Kelly or Cookie or Sophie at the basement door…funny to think that now they’re my sisters. They told me it was very nice inside, quiet, the lady was home most of the time and she loved each of them more than anything, she was like that. Everyone got special care, the food was good food. They had to stay inside…I really loved being outside, but I might be able to live without frozen paws and being chased by tomcats. I wouldn’t mind sitting at that screened basement door if it meant peace and quiet and good food.
But I always pictured myself carrying another litter of kittens in my belly, and it’s really odd how…no matter how hard I try…I can remember some parts of it, but it’s like it happened to another kitty, all those babies…and all that catting around. I have no urge to do that now, wonder what happened? I think it had something to do with that awful cutting and stapling and that horrible plastic cup on my head…really, I just about changed my mind with that, Mewsette was the only thing that kept me from heading for the door and sneaking out, and I would have done it, no kitty was better than me at sneaking out.
I know that one of my daughters lived here because I saw her at the window and talked to her at the basement door too, but she wasn’t here when I came in…I didn’t really understand what happened with her, but I felt that daughter calling me, telling me to come over here, to get this lady’s attention. I did know this human was very sad about something, I could feel it coming from her whenever I was near—all of us animals could, even the senseless chipmunks—even before I came in. She changed too, that’s right, she quit chasing me out of the yard and started talking to me now and then. And it did have something to do with that daughter…
And before I knew it I was inside. Okay, I remember now, I was in the box with my newborns, then the lid closed and we were apparently up in the air, then voices, then the box was set down…the flaps opened in a little square and there was the lady looking at me. It was quiet and cool, she opened the flaps and I looked around. I was…in her house. Why? Now I know, now that I’m here, but I was totally confused.
I felt that other daughter around and looked for her and so did my new mom, but I knew then she was in the rainbows that flowed across the walls and floor from the crystal in the window, spinning slowly for no apparent reason.
Life is truly magical.
The photo of Lucy chasing the rainbows above was taken just a few days prior to Lucy’s death from FIP on July 10, 2007. The photo of Mimi on the drawing table at left was taken the day she came to my household, within an hour of her arrival.
The rainbows did and still do swirl around the room from that crystal hanging in the window of my studio, but on that hot, still day there was only one reason for it to be moving from the moment I entered the room with Mimi and the kittens in the box, and closed the door. It’s also the only crystal I haven’t had to remove because it became a toy for four black kittens; this faceted solid crystal ball a little over 1″ in diameter, hangs where it always did, twirling and sometimes swinging in the breeze in my studio window, yet I’ve never seen a curious and playful paw reach for it.
Read more about Mimi’s mystery daughter, Lucy:
And a little more about Mimi:
All images used on this site are copyrighted to Bernadette E. Kazmarski unless otherwise noted and may not be used without my written permission. Please ask if you are interested in purchasing one as a print, or to use in a print or internet publication.
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